your question:

09/12/2022 Bertie Bassett

Good day to you, fine sir. I have a few questions. Thank you in advance for taking time out to answer such.
1. What is your opinion on Fieldy from Korn? I heard rumours that he made a jazz fusion album for solo bass. Have you heard that?
2. Keeping with the same topic - Fieldy (inventor of slap) - have you heard his rap album? If not, I highly recommend it.
3. What do you think of 3/4 length trousers? I don't understand their function. Always look a tad awkward in my eyes.
4. What to do about individual strands of grey hair in a goatee? I'm talking one or two cheeky beggars.
5. Are you a fan of Creed?
6. Do you have any tattoos? Have you ever considered getting a chin tattoo? Like Dez from Coal Chamber?
7. If you received a call tomorrow morning from Dez inviting you to join Coal Chamber on bass, would you accept the offer? New album and a world tour on the cards. Dude from Taproot featuring on lead guitar.
Thank you again. I look forward to reading your answers. All the best.

My answer:

1. Dear god, the guy is not a bass player. I heard one of his solo records recently. It’s so bad that it’s amazing
2. I’ve heard this one is even better
3. I’m fine with them. Don’t have any myself, but I’m no fashion guru.
4. Chick dig ‘em
5. No
6. Yes. No.
7. It would have to pay an impossible amount of money. I’m not ashamed to be a Capitalist whore.