your question:

4/16/24 Tom, Warsaw

This is such a lovely place Trevor. It's like RedHandFiles by Nick Cave (have you ever read it?) but minus one gigantic ego and somewhat bombastic preachings. I appreciate you already answered some of my questions. I wonder how it is to have "fans". Isn't it inevitably weird relationship? You listen to someone, you admire their skill and art and grow weirdly close to them. Yet.. maybe you have nothing in common, why would you? This illusion of mutual sensitivity to stuff.. how is it for you both as a someone who loved other artists and someone who is being loved that way?

my answer:

It’s weird. I think about heroes of mine and how I would behave in their presence. Of course I’d love to chat with Aubrey Plaza or smoke a joint with Willie Nelson or talk shop with Bobby Vega — but I know for a fact that these people have their own schedules and are likely overrun with fans as it is. Who am I to them? Why should they care? Their personas as I perceive them are not 100% of who they are; perhaps only a small fraction.
Many people who want to chat with me are pretty normal, have normal curiosities about music & art, and have a perspective that I can value. Others cross the line and in these cases I have to get defensive. When I meet people who seem starstruck or nervous I like to ensure them that I am just a human who has to wipe his own ass. The combination of things that brought me to the public eye was not entirely in my control. Admiration I like. Who doesn’t? Fame on the other hand as many drawbacks and has never been appealing to me. I’ve seen it up close, albeit indirectly, with certain colleagues who are more famous than I. I’ve seen how gross and dangerous it can get. No joke. I believe in showing respect and allowing for space. A celebrity or artist has probably already given a lot, they don’t need to give more off stage. They should be allowed to exist in a normal world too, with all it’s grief, trauma, passion and quietude.