your question:

01/24/2024 CK Armstrong

Hey you sexy bitch,
I'm an ex pro bass player. One world tour and a solo vagabond would tour as a session guy: whatever country I found gigs in that would support living I would go to.
In my early days I would learn the Mr. Bungle tracks that were more accessible to me with my skill set. I've never been the fastest but I can contort my hands pretty good for fast/unusual changes. I've always hailed that portion of my learning as the linchpin of my playing.
I'm a normie now but still get calls to play 8 years after retirement. I put that down to you, Gould, Miller, Pastorius and many others in that order.
I feel like I'm in a mental hole right now. I'm doing my well paid job but facilitate a couple of cover bands because people are shocked when I say I just don't want to play anymore. Music means something to me when I'm improvising songs with my 4 year old daughter and laughing with what her lyrics are and hearing weird substitutions when she hits a not that makes no sense but I hear the "chord" that we make and relate it to (often) a Mr bungle track.
Question: should I keep playing the cover gigs for some bonus bucks and friends happiness when really, I'm not sure I want to?

my answer:

This is a personal conundrum I think that only you can answer. My first thought is that you might want to take a deep breath and let any pressure about what music should be to you fall away. There’s nothing wrong with putting it aside as a profession and enjoying it solely through your daughter. I’m sure you’re a great teacher to her and that’s not a light thing. Bonus bucks are always good, but at what price? If playing in bands feels like an obligation, and it’s not about what you want then why do it? If on the other hand, those gigs are no big deal and you can have fun doing them, then by all means have some fun.
We often find ourselves doing things we don’t want to do and I think it’s important to find out why and to consider what is the worst that could happen if we didn’t do them. Perhaps the worst thing might turn out to be a positive thing. Be honest with yourself and don’t feel guilty about decisions that make you feel better about life.